I heard recently that when a spouse loses a partner, it can feel like they’ve lost a limb. They can feel their partner near them, hear their voice, and even see them. And I mentioned this feeling to a dear friend and fellow widow. She agreed and commented “it’s such a loss, 2 become 1” and I wasn’t sure if she was referring to marriage – when two become one – or when a spouse dies – and two become one. It’s got me thinking about the juxtaposition of these two moments.
On our wedding day, our priest spent a significant amount of time talking about how two become one. He said it was through God and the sacrament of marriage that we were able to become one. He talked about how math doesn’t work in this instance, 1 + 1 does not equal 2. Instead 1 + 1 = 1 whole. The whole church laughed, but I loved the idea that we were becoming one unit. Over the years, the idea of being one whole was tested many times. Unified front to our parents, unified front to our kids, unified front to our employers. Whew … we had to stand up for our love in so many ways.
But now, after Kevin’s passing, I truly believe we are still one. I still feel married to my husband and death hasn’t changed that. There isn’t an “until death do us part” for me. He is my husband and will forever more be my husband. We are still one. He is inside of me and inside of our boys. He is in every breath I take. I will keep offering that united front for our boys, and for the world until we meet again.
