Dear Kev,
I try not to live in the land of regret but boy what I would give to turn back time. It’s been six months since you left us. Six horribly long, devastating months. I would give anything to turn back time.
If I could turn back time, I’d go back to June 17th and kiss your lips, wrap my arms around you, and tell you how much I love you. Tell you that you were the answer to all of my prayers, my soulmate, my best friend, my forever home.
If I could turn back time, I would notice every single time you showed your love for me through an incredibly thoughtful act of service. Filling the soap dispensers, buying me toiletries I’d run out of, fixing my car, adding all of the boy’s activities to the calendar, planning our vacations … the list goes on and on. You showed up for us in the most incredible ways.
If I could turn back time, I would make you go to the damn doctor sooner. I would make us pay more attention to the things that really mattered like ourselves and our health.
But there is one thing I wouldn’t ever change- choosing you to be my husband. There was no one else. Kevin and Becca … forever meant to be. You and I build the most beautiful life together and I wouldn’t give that up ever. Even knowing the pain.
The song by Garth Brooks, The Dance says it so beautifully.
“Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared ‘neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbyeAnd now, I’m glad I didn’t know the way it all would end, the way it all would go
Garth Brooks, The Dance
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I’d have had to miss the dance
Thank you for choosing me and giving me our beautiful boys. Thank you for giving your everything each and every day to our family. Thank you for the many sacrifices I know you made. We had a good life, and it was all because of you. I love you madly until forever.
